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tetsuo13

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NSFW (acronym) • Internet slang meaning "Use your iPhone".
by (Arch Stanton), 6 hours, 22 minutes ago.
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Kanye makes me question my inner narcissist.
by (Morgan ), 21 hours, 15 minutes ago.
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A tear just fell into my giant bowl of ice cream and splashed chocolate syrup on my shirt. I hit the sorrow trifecta.
by (Rex Huppke), 22 hours ago.
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The A/C at CVS was out so I unzipped my hoodie, forgetting I had nothing on under it. Excedrin, bottled water and a show: $12.57.
by (Laura), 22 hours, 39 minutes ago.
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I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and The Twilight Zone twist ending was that I was between two cocks.
by (Larry Carlat), 22 hours, 42 minutes ago.
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Maybe it's her eyes or smile, maybe it's her hair of fingers, or the fact I drew her with a sharpie, whatever it is, I truly love my hand.
by (Michael Pierce), 22 hours, 45 minutes ago.
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After I mow, I like to wear my green-splattered shoes out around the neighborhood as a warning to other lawns.
by (Switchblade, PhD), 22 hours, 52 minutes ago.
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Just to be on the safe side I only refer to him as Arnold Schwarze-n-word.
by (Brent Something), 23 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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Is it just me, or are you reading this?
by (Em), 23 hours, 10 minutes ago.
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You can tell a lot about people by watching their homemade porn.
by (Susanne), 23 hours, 52 minutes ago.
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No matter how cool you think you are, you'll never be "impromptu beard of bees" cool.
by (MJ), 1 day ago.
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♫ Apple bottom jeans and the moobs with the fur ♫...I'll stop singing when you shut your curtains, Larry!
by (Laura), 1 day ago.
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Ever yell at other drivers so much you run out of breath and get lightheaded and pass out in the middle of the highway and get run over?
by (Joshua Allen), 1 day ago.
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A diet coke would be *SO* delicious right now.

SODALICIOUS.
by (Kim G.), 1 day ago.
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Doing lines of crank off the hood of my mini-truck in front of the laundromat isn't really a "hobby".

I'll just list it under "interests".
by (Doctor Zaius), 1 day, 1 hour ago.
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This is the type of afternoon that requires qualudes, full bush, and 70's porn jazz.
by (Joanell), 1 day, 3 hours ago.
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My neighbor does some really fucked up shit when she doesn't know I'm hiding in her closet masturbating in a chicken costume .
by (MJ), 1 day, 4 hours ago.
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Clothes always feel itchy & dirty to me if they weren't made by tiny Indonesian slave hands.
by (Gabriel Marcus), 1 day, 4 hours ago.
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Snuff hasn't been popular for centuries. If Sesame Street wanted to stay current, they'd change his name to Huffaluffagus.
by (passive aggressive), 1 day, 5 hours ago.
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I specifically ordered a tube top with cherub imagery. Jeez, K-Mart, what do I have to do to get me some cherub imagery across my boobs?
by (Laura), 1 day, 5 hours ago.
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