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the_dza

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TODAY IS THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF BERNIE MADOFF GOING TO PRISON. HE CELEBRATED QUIETLY WITH HIS WIFE, WALT. #DaveMono
by (Late Show), 36 minutes ago.
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Why don't we ever hear about a Mrs. Pope?
by (Stretch Bootcut), 40 minutes ago.
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I hate it when Mint.com sends me emails like: 'Exceeded budget for Gas & Fuel.' How about something more positive, like: 'Room for Porn.'
by (Out of Context), 42 minutes ago.
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Fart Dad
by (SandPo), 42 minutes ago.
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This year it's time to fight fire with fire. Each SXSW tweet will be met with a tweet about sports. And women. And beautiful Flash websites.
by (Brian Bolter), 45 minutes ago.
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Heard being sung while a broken cup was emptied: "Take…this broken cup…and".

This house is like the worst episode of Glee ever.
by (Arch Stanton), 49 minutes ago.
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I remember when WWF meant Superfly Snuka bodyslamming nerds who play scrabble.
[1586]
by (Sam Hey), 1 hour, 2 minutes ago.
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Purging some of your asses. Feels good too.
by (Jeb Ro), 1 hour, 5 minutes ago.
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Inspired by the @timhaines school of programming, I am also calling my API consumers leeches.
by (Scott Mayo), 1 hour, 8 minutes ago.
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All the icons of my childhood are dying off. Corey Haim, Merlin Olsen, Andy Rooney... oops. I just jinxed myself.
by (Stretch Bootcut), 1 hour, 13 minutes ago.
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Thank you, Zach Galifianakis, for getting famous so that women way out of my league look at me and think, if ever so fleetingly, "maybe."
by (Essex Mortimer Dogg), 1 hour, 14 minutes ago.
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I’m home alone tonight… think I’ll light some candles, soft music, pop open a bottle of wine, find a hand-held mirror and explore myself…
by (Beersuds), 1 hour, 16 minutes ago.
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"Dad, what's a 'tickle fight'?"

"So, you know when you walked in on me and the mailman and I said, "Don't tell mom."? Yes? Ok. That."
by (iamnotdiddy™), 1 hour, 19 minutes ago.
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All the snow melted! I'M RICH!!!


With dog shit.
by (He-Man), 1 hour, 19 minutes ago.
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P22’s release of Edward Johnston’s Underground face is now available in @typekit … Bloody yes, please. http://typekit.com/fonts/1445
by (Grant Hutchinson), 1 hour, 25 minutes ago.
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I wonder if ugly people make a pretty face when they orgasm.
by (Nikolai), 1 hour, 27 minutes ago.
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Duodenum? I hardly can't stop staring at this anatomy poster in the waiting room.
by (matt), 1 hour, 36 minutes ago.
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I think the highest compliment would be that you're doing great in the space station.
by (Nikolai), 1 hour, 36 minutes ago.
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I had to change my hairdresser because she just didn't cut it.
by (Lisa Ahé.), 1 hour, 38 minutes ago.
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Watching the news, I feel the same way people must have right before Rome nosedived.

A mix of exasperation, bemusement and awed disbelief.
by (Bethamphetamine ), 1 hour, 43 minutes ago.
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