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If I were redesigning the bazooka I would make it look like a cat. People would be all, "That's a big, fucking cat," and then POW!
by (Trelvix), 31 minutes ago.
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@Just_Alison @daveshumka My God. She's right. Unstar.
by (Polythene Spam), 43 minutes ago.
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Oregon is the Amazon Prime of states. When a thing says it costs $29.99, check this out - you pay $29.99!
by (Neven Mrgan), 55 minutes ago.
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"A thousand shots of Debbie Harry's poon don't just vanish from the Internet overnight. No. Uh-uh. Somebody had to gone and done something."
by (JTD), 1 hour ago.
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White people will never not sing the bum bum bum's in 'Sweet Caroline'.
by (ruthakers), 1 hour, 1 minute ago.
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My senses are so good I don't need a divining rod to find beer at the Minnesota State Fair.
by (Joel Ingersoll), 1 hour, 4 minutes ago.
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My GPS is kind of a bitch.
by (Theresa), 1 hour, 6 minutes ago.
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Guy: you know raspberries & blueberries are highest in anti-oxidants?

Me: nods head

Dude: ok, I'm not going to talk to you anymore
by (~SUMMER~), 1 hour, 11 minutes ago.
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I've said it before and I'll say it again: The "do the dog face" scene in "Bolt" is some of the best character animation I've ever seen.
by (Jeffery Harrell), 1 hour, 11 minutes ago.
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I'll party like it's whatever goddamn year I want. And get off my lawn.
by (notorious d.e.b.), 1 hour, 12 minutes ago.
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I bet peeping toms see a lot more nose picking than they bargain for.
by (Josh Hara), 1 hour, 21 minutes ago.
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Earl? Pfft. Even the name sounds like someone who would come up short.
by (Dilligaf), 1 hour, 30 minutes ago.
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I tried to be a workaholic but workahol tastes like shit.
by (donni), 1 hour, 33 minutes ago.
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I worked in a store called Anger. I left because they had such poor management.
by (Funnyshit), 1 hour, 36 minutes ago.
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I used to have a great job as a bullet, but then I got fired.
by (Funnyshit), 1 hour, 42 minutes ago.
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14yo: "Some people quote presidents. Some people quote prophets. Our family quotes comedians and Arrested Development."
by (Jerilyn Hassell Pool), 1 hour, 42 minutes ago.
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The wise man also says that the crime rate is very low. Probably explains why random women are walking around solo at 4am. Or maybe not...
by (Chamillionaire), 1 hour, 43 minutes ago.
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Who's Earl?
by ( Jen), 1 hour, 57 minutes ago.
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After the apocalypse, when we have to survive on cans of cat food, I'll be totally fine. Really. I might add a dash of salt. Mmmm.
by (Neven Mrgan), 1 hour, 59 minutes ago.
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I need lots of high 5's.
by (jenny ), 2 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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