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twwilliams

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Arrgh. I keep writing "Corey Haim is still alive" on my checks.
by (Doctor Zaius), 13 hours, 28 minutes ago.
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R.I.P. Corey Haaaaiiiy ma ma ma ma heeeeyyyaaayy-yaaaaa - life in a northern town. Fuckin' Dream Academy am I right? Shame about Nick Drake.
by (shane), 14 hours, 34 minutes ago.
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Let's see what else, oh yes why do starlets today have such bad posture? That Montana girl and that Twilight girl slouch like potato sacks.
by (Lauren Bacall), 18 hours, 2 minutes ago.
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Leo Laporte coming to the ranch? About 45 minutes into http://twit.tv/mbw184 (Yes, Merlin Mann and I were in a band in college.)
by (Aaron Hillegass), 1 day, 2 hours ago.
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4chan favors the bold.
by (Joel Johnson), 1 day, 8 hours ago.
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@TheStarterWife @gordonshumway Not pictured: Hershey's coconut creme kisses. [falls over dead] [loves Easter]
by (Holly), 1 day, 8 hours ago.
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http://twitpic.com/17lg93 - @TheStarterWife @gordonshumway OOH OOH OOH
by (Holly), 1 day, 9 hours ago.
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Well good morning Perry Ellis Luxury Bamboo socks! No, I don't believe I *will* be losing any arguments today! High five, Perry Ellis socks.
by (shane), 1 day, 13 hours ago.
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The phrase "sports bra chafing" just doesn't convey how sexy I look right now.
by (Stephanie), 1 day, 16 hours ago.
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The Legend of Zelda: Isn't This Link Guy About 30 By Now?
by (Tony Delgrosso), 1 day, 17 hours ago.
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My daughter's first word was "Dada". While I prefer the more mature vision of the later Surrealists, I ceded the point.
by (Sociopathetic), 1 day, 21 hours ago.
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"Did I brush my teeth?" seems like a question I should be able to answer without having to touch my toothbrush to see if it's wet. And yet…
by (Ticklish Junk), 1 day, 22 hours ago.
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If LinkedIn were any less fun it would be called www.yourparentsdivorce.com/wasnt_that_sad/yesitwas.html?considercrying
by (Henry), 1 day, 23 hours ago.
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Repeatedly whispering my own name in a pitch black room really waters my crazy-garden.
by (Alec Sulkin), 1 day, 23 hours ago.
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I don't want to live in the neighborhood where Applebee's is considered "eatin' good".
by (A. Koford), 2 days ago.
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I can't tell if my wife is silently showing me from across the room where on her body she's sore or if she wants me to bunt.
by (Joe Schmidt), 2 days ago.
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"Mornin' sweetie, for breakfast we have marzipan filled, double layered raspberry pastries. Yum!"

"Poptarts, mom. They're called Poptarts."
by (Punkrockie Brewster), 2 days, 1 hour ago.
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The birds and the bees talk with my kids doesn't worry me as much as explaining why every time a panda has sex it makes the news.
by (Brian Bolter), 2 days, 1 hour ago.
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To celebrate International Women's Day, I'm bleeding all over the fucking house, eating chocolates, and listening to Gloria Gaynor.
by (bitterpuss), 2 days, 1 hour ago.
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There's a fine line between "efficient" and "never going on a date, ever" and that line is eating dinner out of the pan you cooked it in.
by (Bailey), 2 days, 2 hours ago.
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