Tweeteorites

zuhl

Tweets favorited by zuhl’s friends.

Revenge is a dish best served secretly covered with sperm.
by (fuckedy), 32 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

Bitches! What's up? (you're a bitch if you respond)
by (Em), 35 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Sorry I've been away from twitter for a few days. Been busy abusing drugs and not giving a fuck, cause you know, I'm a multi-tasker.
by (The Real JazzyJeffro), 35 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

Imagine. Outside. Crisp. Cool. End of summer night. On the grass, on a blanket, fucking your brains out. Now, imagine

a partner.
by (Crotchety Crank), 41 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I hate the phrase "parental unit." I saw my dad's parental unit once, and it scarred me for life.
by (Mike), 45 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

been eating sound-waves and living off frequencies for weeks now... look like a million bucks, who wants to date me?
by (Agent Cherri Cola), 49 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I often wonder about my place in the grand scheme of things and then I remember your mom is a whore.

Thanks for that.
by (Laura), 53 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

If the show was called Tin Chef, I'd kick ass.
by (Clayton Hove), 53 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

My teenage sons are Gurping. Why didn't any of you warn me about this?
by (The Bosha), 53 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I have a strict no talking rule during sex.....even in my dreams.

Slap it, suck it, fuck it- just don't talk about it.

Night!!
by (Just call me Jenn), 55 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I wish women had a snooze button on their ass you could smack so they'd shut the fuck up for nine minutes.
by (Bill Mc7), 1 hour ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

Michael Lohan opening a rehab facility is like Mel Gibson teaching an anger management course.
by (D), 1 hour, 2 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

When you've been drinking and you are alone on a full bus, finding your stop is a serious challenge with all the stops.
by (Joel Ingersoll), 1 hour, 2 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

She thinks she found lipstick on my collar.

That's less embarrassing than koolaid so I'm going with it.
by (rodney), 1 hour, 6 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

Had enough garlic at dinner tonight to give the wife a legitimate excuse for not wanting to mess around. Or be anywhere near me.
by (JET_AZ), 1 hour, 8 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

I don't drink wine because I'm an alcoholic. I'm a foot fetishist masochist who dreams of having his grapes stomped.
by (Peter-john Byrnes), 1 hour, 8 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

Beverly Hills 90210 sucked.

I mean come on, it's set over 80,000 years in the future, and everyone on future Earth is still sad?
by (luckyshirt), 1 hour, 8 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friends
Also by

When did style shift that allowed only obese American men with salt and pepper ponytails to wear berets?
by (Joel Ingersoll), 1 hour, 8 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

One day my children will thank me for raising them to be open minded to only the things I believe.
by (Brian Bolter), 1 hour, 10 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

OH: "Diddy damn bolimbo, get in the car, Frances!"

I don't really understand people in gated communities.
by (Jess), 1 hour, 10 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend